On the Connection Between Homosexuality and Autoeroticism
Ricky Martin is nowhere to be found. The star quality of William Hung shines so bright amidst his spastic gyrations and horrendous singing in his rendition of She Bangs, effective relegating Ricky to the pit of obscurity.
However, before the myth of Ricky Martin fades away, I intend to resurrect this trifling little issue on his sexuality.
It is not my intent to make a 'is he, is he not' kind of prognosis. Instead, I will work from the premise that he is indeed gay and that the rumours of him chilling out with other pretty boys in the LA clubbing scene are true,, and from there springboard into an analysis on why he is.
So here's the big question - why is Ricky Martin, who is amazingly good looking and is able to get any form of buxom beauty he wants, prefer other boys?
Of course, besides the obvious response of biological conditioning, I want to go beneath and go on a little psychoanalytic tour of his pervy little brain and mine, because it is my hypothesis we do share the same issues.
My homosexual desires are purely sexual. There are no spiritual and emotional yearning in my desires for men. However on the flip side, my infatuation with the female species is never purely physical, instead mired with a need for spiritual and emotional intimacy as well. And then there's the intrusion of a third party - me, in all my narcissistic glory.
I love me. I love the way that every time I glance at the mirror, I look prettier then the girl I'm going out with at that time. I love to colour-coordinate my couture. I love to be body beautiful. I love to be the object of someone's sweaty masturbatory fantasy.
As a result, I hardly check out chicks simple because I don't find them attractive enough, that they don't deserve me. I rather make love to my mirror. Perhaps, that is Ricky's issue as well, too caught up in his good looks for his own good.
How do you resolve this erotic tension in the lust for self? Autoeroticism is impratical. Masturbation isn't autoerotic because it is basically fucking air, the orgasm resulting in tissue use rather than anything remotely resembling culmination of desire.
The answer perhaps lie in the way my bi-sexuality operates - in the case of women, it is a level playing field in terms of attraction. In the case of men however, the guys whom I would consider fucking are very specific. They must be good looking hypermasculine muscular hunks - products of a projection of my idealised self.
That is who I want to be, as I pump iron in the gym and watch my diet. By fucking them I am appropriating their beauty for myself, that in the union of two heaving bodies that Adonis will be manifested. In the same manner, Ricky has good times with his boy toys because they are all reflection of himself, and vice versa, that in their mutual orgasms some form of satiation will be realised.
The Adonis Orgasm - the one thing connecting Ricky and me.