The Confessions of St. Augustine for the new millenium. A Christian's struggles with bi-sexuality, loneliness and other demons from his past.
A New Category of Friendship
Published on June 15, 2004 By thorninmyflesh In Sex & Romance
Friendships can be categorised. You know, things like the Best Friend, the Gay Buddy, the Coffee Partner, and the Nosy Neighbour. Amidst my unconventional life however, begets a new category of friendship - The Spiritual FB (as for the mysterious initials, well I won't reveal the less-then-family-friendly nature behind them, but it would be made apparent as the passage continues.)

Yes, the FB is basically a friend whom you have sexual tension with, and basically agrees to relieve it together, yet it is a stipulation that there will not be romance or the trappings of a relationship. It is BGR which is stripped bare to the base form of animal desire. The Spiritual FB operates on somewhat similar terms, just that it gets more complex because of the Christian context it must operate in. Namely, the existence of the division of body, soul and spirit, and the previous posts' reflection that human sexuality is a physical manifestation of a spiritual reality where man's desire is to be intimate with something or someone that should ideally be filled with Almighty God.

In my case, I do have a Spiritual FB. There is undeniable sexual tension between both of us, yet due to our Christian disposition this mutual passion manifest itself in the spiritual realm in an equally intense manner. However, like the conventional FB interaction, there is no romantic connection, and thus it become a fufilling of needs without the trappings of a relationship. And because it is an intimate spiritual connection - the actions of secrets sharing, prayer support and wanting the best for the person flows along with it.

Hence comes the question - isn't a relationship about spiritual and emotional connection anyway? However, there are three things that stand in the way of that, the first one paving the way for the other two. One, is that God does not seem to approve. Two, our compatibility of interests, ideals and lifestyle is in question. Three, our desire to bonk is as strong as our desire to see His kingdom eternally reign on Earth. Yet because of our Christian call to be pure for the sake of our respective ministries, we have to deny our urges. With the boundaries of friendship, the physical desires can be kept at arm's length, but if those boundaries are removed, then let the good times begin.

My Spiritual FB and me have mutually shared dirty little secrets with sly smiles, and yet spiritually edify one another like no other. We are probably more emotionally and spiritually connected then a lot of legitimate couples. I pray that this arrangement can carry on without the hitch, unless one party fall in love with the other, and that my friends, is a whole different kettle of fish.

on Jun 15, 2004
I have a friend who's Christian husband has a Spiritual FB (who's not his wife) they've been friends the exact amount of time my friend has been in a relationship with her husband (he's 22, she's 22 the SFB is 18) seven years. And my biggest fear for my friend is that the only reason she's married is because they had sex before marriage and she got pregnant -- they now have 2 children and his SFB is their baby-sitter.

NOthing physical has ever happened (that we know of) but it's all spiritual and emotional -- he'll go to her with his issues - not his wife.